failure

After months of waiting, I was faced with reality again.

It was harder to accept than I expected. The blow was so strong that I was thrown against the wall and reality was smacked right in front of my face, as I stared at my failure once again, trying as hard as I could to absorb what was displayed infront of it.

Shame, embarrasment, shock... Everything came gushing out of me from out of no where. Tears started to accumulate around my eyes. The screen blurred.

Maybe I really am born dumb. Come to think about it, I do not excel in anything, no natural born talent, NOTHING... Ha! I don't think I'm not even good at something... pestimisstic you would say.

It's a fact, nothing can change it...

Emotions...

It was going to happen again and she knew it.

From a normal conversation to a blooming friendship, she knew that she would be walking into trouble. It was just down the road, waiting paitently to shallow her up, inch by inch, till she falls and breaks down.

It was starting to sway. "Maybe I could just stop that slight movement by avoiding?", but she knew she was wrong. Sways had turned themselves into trembles but it will not stop there. Time will cause it to shake violently till she will be buried below and there is no route to escape anymore.

"How am I going to fight back again? It will not be as easy as before..."

She buried her face within her folded arms and cried...

Am I dumb?

Sitting in the lecture hall, trying hard to absorb every information being thrown at you within two hours, how do you survive that?

Well, I can...blankly.

Sometimes It really makes me wonder whether I'm born dumb or just have half a brain to rely on for the rest of my life. Understanding of the class, why not? Explaining to my friends, alright. Applying it to my own work, blank.

Plain stupidity. Agree disagree, that's me. Looking at the notes, strings of words just fog my mind, blurred by the mist in my head. Where did all this mist come from? I wonder too...

I guess different people are blessed with different skills and talents. What am I blessed with? None I think. Maybe a pea brain.

Thank goodness I'm still blessed with a brain...

right way of life?

Sitting infront of the screen as the music played on from the back ground, time suddenly beings to slow down, making life function like matrix in slow motion. Almost dead.

Sometimes I just wonder: what is life actually about? Am I living it the right way? Is there such a thing called "the right way of living life" ?

Everything seems to be stagnant. Boring maybe. Somehow the place I'm trapped it does not seem to be living life the right way. People rushing from places to places, rushing for datelines. Just rushing. Everything just turns so fast till it becomes scenes of a Kung Fu movie's fight. No one even has the time to sit by the at the coffee house to enjoy the cup brewed before them.

Am I suppose to register myself to such a way of life? Maybe I am asking for too much. I do not know...

Being the age I am now, life should revolve around fun, love, danger. Somehow it is just bleak, cold, alone. What would make up me if life continues on this way? Stressful, meaningless, depressing...

Well, I know...
D o o m.

Season Greetings

Hey to all!

It's the celebration of a new year once again. Wishing U a super duper happy chinese new year. Have a prosperous year ahead and enjoy all the sumptuous food and goodies.

Loads of Luve
Mambo...