Hard to let go
During the past few days, there he laid, within a wall that separated us so far apart from each other. Nevertheless, he was always in my mind, my thoughts, my heart...
People came and went, paying their last respect. It was rather noisy the first night. Sounds of chattering, gambling and laugther filled the air, but that did not fill that emptiness in my heart. A part of me was lost ever since he left. Nothing could replaced it at that moment of time.
This carried on for five days. Mourning.
14th DEc 2004 : He was leaving us physically. We were told to take one last look before that thin glass was completely sealed. My heart ached and the pain within was unbearable. Tears could not removed the ache nor how I actually felt. I could not bring myself to see him from where I stood. It was too hurting to know that that was the last time I will be seeing him physically. Every step I took was dragging a hundred tonne behind it. Slow and painful.
He was to be cremated. During the bus journey there, flashes of his face, the times he was still around came banging against my head. It was having a war between my mind and heart. All i could do was cry sliently for I did not want my Mother to worry.
Upon arrival, we sat in a ceremonial room for the last time. Tears streamed down my eyes but all I did again was to cry with my heart. We proceeded to the viewing hall and I joined my Mother right at the front while other took a step upwards to view the procession. My mind was in a mess till it became a total blank.
He finally appeared within our sight. At that very moment, everyone cried out his name. I did not have control over my body anymore. Slowly, he was push into the hot flames, disappearing out of our sight. NOTHING could describe the pain of my heart. My legs went weak. I almost fell down on my knees but i was clutched tightly to my Mother and surrounded by my Father. That was the end, the end of everything...
Now sitting infront of the notebook, thinking of what had happened. It really made me realised that losing someone you take for granted can be so easy. It is only when he is gone that you realised how much he meant in your heart.
To those reading this, always always cherish what you have especially your loved ones. A simple " I love you" through speech will mean so much to one another.
It'll be hard to let go....
People came and went, paying their last respect. It was rather noisy the first night. Sounds of chattering, gambling and laugther filled the air, but that did not fill that emptiness in my heart. A part of me was lost ever since he left. Nothing could replaced it at that moment of time.
This carried on for five days. Mourning.
14th DEc 2004 : He was leaving us physically. We were told to take one last look before that thin glass was completely sealed. My heart ached and the pain within was unbearable. Tears could not removed the ache nor how I actually felt. I could not bring myself to see him from where I stood. It was too hurting to know that that was the last time I will be seeing him physically. Every step I took was dragging a hundred tonne behind it. Slow and painful.
He was to be cremated. During the bus journey there, flashes of his face, the times he was still around came banging against my head. It was having a war between my mind and heart. All i could do was cry sliently for I did not want my Mother to worry.
Upon arrival, we sat in a ceremonial room for the last time. Tears streamed down my eyes but all I did again was to cry with my heart. We proceeded to the viewing hall and I joined my Mother right at the front while other took a step upwards to view the procession. My mind was in a mess till it became a total blank.
He finally appeared within our sight. At that very moment, everyone cried out his name. I did not have control over my body anymore. Slowly, he was push into the hot flames, disappearing out of our sight. NOTHING could describe the pain of my heart. My legs went weak. I almost fell down on my knees but i was clutched tightly to my Mother and surrounded by my Father. That was the end, the end of everything...
Now sitting infront of the notebook, thinking of what had happened. It really made me realised that losing someone you take for granted can be so easy. It is only when he is gone that you realised how much he meant in your heart.
To those reading this, always always cherish what you have especially your loved ones. A simple " I love you" through speech will mean so much to one another.
It'll be hard to let go....
posted by whatefook ® at
11:52 PM
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