beaten and fallen again...

It is happening again. Feeling bad for the actions that I am not aware off, which is bringing hurt to people around me. Maybe not people, but her ...

Needing to rush around every time the event ends, or something just pops up for me to attend to, leaving her there waiting. It is the empty promises I made every time of telling her that I will be able to speak to her after the event yet fail to do so?

She is getting sick of my actions. Even though she sprinkles her words with sugar and icing, making it all sound so wonderful, the words just have a way of piercing their way slowly into my heart, prolonging the pain as long as it can ...
Is it just me or does not she understands?

What her motive? I know it is pure but what does she want from me? Why do I feel so guilty about what she says? I can just ignore, but it's taunting me ...
Mind is a mess, emotions are driving me nuts.

I am beaten and have fallen again ...