From e bottom of my heart...

My Lord,

I really really want to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for bringing my friend and his family safely back home. If it was not for your guidance that was shining the way for them to come home, they would have never return..

Lord, thoughout this whole year, You were always there for me especially when I'm at my lowest. When it seems that all the walls of support are crashing down on me, You lift me up with hope and a focus mind to lead on my journey towards you. It was You that gave me the strenght to carry on and to help those who needs it.

Even though this simple word of "thank you" comes out almost all the time, but mine comes from the deepest deepest part of my heart. I love you, Lord.

Amen.

"Prayer Of Hope"

Dearest Lord,

Please bless the families whose loved ones have left them because of the terrible disaster that has struck South East Asia on the 26th Dec 04. It was the worst disaster that happened in the past 40 years and everyone is in grief now. Give us the strength physically and emtionally to help those in need now and to find the survivors of this tragic event.

Most importantly Lord, please bring my friend and his family safely back home here. He still has a very bright future ahead of him. Please please bring him back...

Amen.

A note for all readers

Gd Day to my fellow wise ones,

What you read in this Blog is restrictly through imagination and a lil spice to fire up the entries. Pls don't take it for real especially to those who thinks it's related to me..

Loads of Luve
mambo

fated to be single

It has happened again. Her mind has lost the battle against her heart. She had fell for someone. Someone who would never return the love that she has given...

It was in a place and the way that they did not know they would have met each other.
Carols of joy, music of life filled the air. She had seen him from afar and it was normal for her eyes to roam. He was standing there, soaking up the atmosphere of Christmas. Introduced by her friend, she got to know him a bit more. It was a crazy thing but it was worth while...
She thought that that would be the end of their conversation as he also spoke to someone else better than her.

However, it went on...

They shared the most beautiful day together, at least it was beautiful for her. She had never felt so closed to someone ever since that incident. That night, he suddenly spoke "she has been messaging me a lot." She was caught by surprised. "Why would she be messaging him?" she wondered, but she did not really care.

The next day, he did not message her at all, so she made the first move, wondering if he wanted to join her for another round of shopping. He agreed! Nothing could describe how she felt that instance. However it did not turn out the way she expected it to be.

That day, he was rather listless and somehow, he seemed to forget what happened that night. Her heart felt sour. Before they parted, He spoke again " she actually said that I could go over to her place anytime." She did not know how to react but to say "oh, that's nice."
His face kept appearing in her mind. She could not forget the times they had. She knew then that a part of her heart was given to someone. Him.

However, endings were never happy for her. She believed that a girl should never make the first move, but why could not she do that same for him? She risked it again by asking if he would want to catch a movie, but he was kind of busy so she did not ask more.
Today, after a long day at school, her phone rang. He was outside with her. The moment the message got into her head, her heart sank.

"WHY does it have to be HER again?! It can't be, that would not happen, she doesn't mean it. She just wants to have a friend to talk to. But why him? Am I selfish to be thinking of it this way?. Silly you, you're so ugly! who would wanna be with you? stop fooling yourself time and time again!"

All these thoughts pierced through her heart. It was painful. Hurtful. Impossible.

" Why do fate have to always play a joke on me?"

Mel Torme (1946) - The Christmas Song

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yule-tide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey
and some mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys
and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer
really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said
many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you.

A christmas Greeting...

Hey!

To All out there, HAve yourself a merry Merry Christmas and a Groovy 2005!
May it be A blast for ya 'N' thanks for dropping by! Love ya folks

Cookies and Cream
mambo

Hard to let go

During the past few days, there he laid, within a wall that separated us so far apart from each other. Nevertheless, he was always in my mind, my thoughts, my heart...
People came and went, paying their last respect. It was rather noisy the first night. Sounds of chattering, gambling and laugther filled the air, but that did not fill that emptiness in my heart. A part of me was lost ever since he left. Nothing could replaced it at that moment of time.
This carried on for five days. Mourning.



14th DEc 2004 : He was leaving us physically. We were told to take one last look before that thin glass was completely sealed. My heart ached and the pain within was unbearable. Tears could not removed the ache nor how I actually felt. I could not bring myself to see him from where I stood. It was too hurting to know that that was the last time I will be seeing him physically. Every step I took was dragging a hundred tonne behind it. Slow and painful.
He was to be cremated. During the bus journey there, flashes of his face, the times he was still around came banging against my head. It was having a war between my mind and heart. All i could do was cry sliently for I did not want my Mother to worry.

Upon arrival, we sat in a ceremonial room for the last time. Tears streamed down my eyes but all I did again was to cry with my heart. We proceeded to the viewing hall and I joined my Mother right at the front while other took a step upwards to view the procession. My mind was in a mess till it became a total blank.

He finally appeared within our sight. At that very moment, everyone cried out his name. I did not have control over my body anymore. Slowly, he was push into the hot flames, disappearing out of our sight. NOTHING could describe the pain of my heart. My legs went weak. I almost fell down on my knees but i was clutched tightly to my Mother and surrounded by my Father. That was the end, the end of everything...




Now sitting infront of the notebook, thinking of what had happened. It really made me realised that losing someone you take for granted can be so easy. It is only when he is gone that you realised how much he meant in your heart.

To those reading this, always always cherish what you have especially your loved ones. A simple " I love you" through speech will mean so much to one another.

It'll be hard to let go....

A tribute to you...

In Loving Memory of Someone Ever So Dear In My Life

Mr Koh Kooi Lew, My Grandfather.

Nov 1922 - 10th Dec 2004

A man that will always be thought of and missed by all who loved him dearly.
He will rest in peace with the LORD and never be forgotten...

If only you were here...

Dearest Grandfather,

If only you can hear what I have to say to you now, the guilt in me will stay there for as long as you are in my heart.
If only i knew how to speak the language you spoke, you would not have felt so lonely and left out, thinking that we were against you in whatever you did.
For the many times I wanted to talk to you just to know how you were feeling, I did not bring myself to do so. For the many times I talked back at you, my heart did not feel good, yet a simple word "sorry" was not said to you.
I have been unfilial grand daughther. If only time could be turned back, I would have done all these and not regret it now. Will you ever forgive me?
No matter how far you are from me, you will always be in my heart forever. I love you.


Love,
Grand daughther.

Fate of a girl

It was her looks.
She knew it.
Everything stopped.
Communication became as calm as the blood flowing through her body.
Slient.

She wanted to continue but the other party thought otherwise.
She could sense it through every moving function of her body.
It was obvious.
All she recevied was just a one worded answer.

"Will He find me irritating if I continued to SMS him?"
"Will he think I am desperate?"

"Girls should never make the first move when it comes to these."
"I must stop myself now!"
"Erase everything about him before it is too late."

She hated that feeling.
A feeling of loving but never getting anything back in return.
Failure.
Foolish.
It will never happen.
Not now.
Not at all.
NEVER.

"Is this my fate?"

Her heart sank.